‘Lol I love your pic’ was her opening line on whatsapp. I was wearing a virtual reality headset on my whatsapp profile, apparently I look better with my face covered.
She was actually really good looking, and it kind of surprised me that half a year after we exchanged numbers, she suddenly started to text me out of the blue. Maybe she was seeing someone in the meantime, or just not up for dating earlier, and then one day browsed through her contacts. I want to know, but am not going to ask.
The other funny thing was that she brought a friend to the date, and then more people started to join up to where we were a group of six. Strangely enough, and much contrary to what I would have expected, it did not feel weird or take attention away from us getting to know each other. Possibly the way you are with friends is much more the real person you are compared to the nice presentation you’d like to give on a one-on-one date.
Anyway, the date is probably best characterized by part of the conversations:
‘Oh the best part of working from home is not just the gym during work hours, it’s not wearing bra’s.’
‘Totally true’ her friend replied, ‘I just liberate myself from bra’s whenever I can. Such a feeling of freedom.’
Then a moment later she thought she saw a possum in the big tree in the middle of the golden chief. She leaned over to photograph it with a flat back, her butt sticking out while on her knees, and the bra liberation movement visible on the other end. The whole scene together with the conversation we just had tickled my imagination for PG-rated activities.
It turned out that the possum was actually a cockroach by the way, but nevermind.
‘Look that’s Fred! What a cute puppy!’ in private she added for me: ‘I know him from school; he just came out last year, so late while all of us knew already he was gay!’
Girl’s like guys with puppies. If he’s gay too that makes him even more approachable without the pressure he might want something from her. So it didn’t take long before we were patting the dog communally.
‘yeah she’s just such a sweet dog’ Fred commented, ‘She ate my car keys yesterday, that was about a 600 dollar replacement, ‘but otherwise she’s just such an original, look at her eyes, so unique!’
‘Yeah totally a sweet dog.’ Another girl started to pat the dog as well, and she looked so familiar, yet I couldn’t recall straight away from where I knew her. She then cuddled the boy she was with in one fluent movement from dog to boy.
And oh look at this video I made, here I was in the shower for five minutes and she totally ripped the couch! Yeah that’s about another $1000 gone, but hey she’s such a sweet dog’.
‘I’m going to take a sabbatical’ Fred continued, ‘yeah just a year off you know, I decided two days ago, just some time to find myself, yeah work was a bit surprised but hey you only live once’.
‘And you can spend some more time with the dog’ Lisa added.
‘yeah that would be so amazing, such a sweet dog. And oh here look she ate my shoes, yeah they were really fine leather shoes, but oh well otherwise it’s such a sweet dog’.
Back at the table under the tree.
‘And then my other friend brought in three bags of coke, the really pure stuff. I mean, I usually don’t do drugs, but it was a nice gift’ Lisa was on a roll to tell her anecdote. ‘and then my mum was about to walk in, but of course I didn’t want her to see the bags so instead I said “please don’t walk in, my dildo is on the table” I mean, what else can you say to prevent your mum to walk in?’
All agreed there was probably no better way to keep your mum out of the room.
I had to work next day, so around eleven I said goodbye. She left the group to walk me out, and for a moment I was wondering whether this would be kissing point or just politeness. It turned out to be just politeness.
‘you are so real’ she said that as a compliment. ‘I mean, so many people in double bay are so fake, but you are so real. Just call me, soon, okay?’
Back in the train home. I got a text from a girl from Tinder I had exchanged numbers with a few months ago, though we never got to an actual date.
‘was that you I just patted the dog with at the sheaf?’
It all came together now. She was actually nice and as good-looking in real life just as in the pics. Too bad I missed out on her now that she has a boyfriend. Then it turned out that was not her boyfriend, but her best gay friend. Oh well.
I guess ‘being real’ in double bay is a compliment; It works to have a dog if you want to talk to girls; doesn’t matter if the dog destroys about everything in your household. It’s double bay after all where all material things are replaceable.
It also works to have a ‘best gay friend’ and talk to lots of people of the opposite sex. Maybe more so for girls than for guys (and even better in combination with the dog). I wonder what would happen if I hang out at the Golden Shief with my ‘best lesbian friend’. Something to consider trying-out.
Anyway, I texted her a few times but the chats ended promptly when I started to hint at a second date. Maybe a second date would be too real. Or maybe it just means I’m not going to be her sweet dog. Key takeaway from the night: if I wanna get a pussy, I should first get a puppy.